- Start with a clear objective
- Be liked. Key factors in this are having friendly body language (especially smile), being a great listener, and complimenting others (genuinely!)
- It is essential to understand the other person. What’s in it for them? Imagine being them – what would convince or motivate you if you were them? Use questioning to find out what will make them change their position.
- Adapt to each of the four types: Analytical, Controller, Enthusiast, Amiable. Logic only works with some people. If they are a facts person, confront them with a detailed factual record. But often feelings can be more powerful than facts, since they cannot be argued with. Consider saying honestly how you feel.
- What you say may not be true. What they say must be true, to them. So use questioning to get them to say what you want. (e.g. “How would more exercise improve your life?”).
- Involve them in helping solve the problem. Ideally they will feel that the solution is theirs – or at least partly theirs.
- Consider making the situation more painful for them (perhaps by doing nothing) so that they have to agree to making changes of some sort, preferably the ones you want.
- Sometimes offering them a choice of two evils works better than offering them one yes-or-no evil.
- Suggest a small, easy, trial first step.
- What objections do you expect them to come up with, and how will you handle these? They may not come out with their real objections straight away. Discover the real objection by peeling the onion – “Apart from that…”
- Overcome objections by using “I know how you feel, I felt the same way (repeat some of their statements), but what I found was…”
