- Telling him afterwards that one person didn’t like the lyrics in one of his songs
- Asking him if he could do all of his songs a bit shorter
- Wanting to approve the set list beforehand
- Wanting to tamper with the set list, – “can you just miss this one out?”
- Giving him a set list of crappy cover songs you want him to play (in other words someone else’s PowerPoint presentation to deliver)
- Asking him what he’s going to do and what he’s going to sing just before he goes on stage.
- Telling him all about each individual member of the audience a week before the gig.
- Saying you’ve got everything booked for the 3rd of June, which is the week after next, and is he free? You’ve got the venue hired, the PA system and the piano, all the audience are coming, …can he do the date?
- Telling him that for the gig he’s doing for you he has to wear a tie. (oh yes, these have all happened to me)
- Telling him afterwards: – you thought his gig was pretty good really, but here’s a bit of advice about how to do it better….
- Telling him afterwards in the dressing room that you expected him to be boring but actually you were surprised, he was quite good
- Hanging around in the dressing room afterwards while he’s trying to pack up his gear and asking him lots of questions about how he got started and whether he can give you any advice about how you could get into the music business
- Asking him to run through the entire set the week before so you can check that it’s alright and that his voice is alright, …maybe even to run through some of it twice – for your boss as well
- “Last week’s band played heavy-metal and the audience really liked them, so could you do all your songs in a heavy-metal style please?”
- I’m in The Czech Republic and I don’t understand your lyrics, please could you make a version of your CD with the word in Czech?
- “I have questions about the songs on your CD that I bought. Can we have a zoom call to discuss them? Should only take an hour or so”
- Could you have your piano in the middle and the bass on the left, and the third song to be a ballad, because we want all the performers on the bill to “be consistent” and that’s what the previous band did??
- “On the feedback forms some people said they wanted more ballads but other people said they wanted more of a dance selection of songs, what can you do about that for next time please?”
- “Could you play your whole set in 15 minutes please, that’s all the time we’ve got?”
- “Could you make the concert shorter but play more songs?”
- “On your album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road there’s a track where the bass is a bit low in the mix, could you fix it please?”
- “Your songs are great, but just a little bit of constructive feedback about the lyrics, if you could give a few more concrete examples, so rather than saying someone is beautiful, maybe describe their hair and their skin, I think I would be even better”
- “In one of your songs you mention not remembering if someone’s eyes are green or blue; I feel excluded and offended by the lyric because mine are brown, what’s wrong with brown?, please can you put in a line about “other colours of eyes are also attractive”. Also, you mentioned sitting on the roof and kicking off the moss, and obviously it’s not a problem for me but I’m worried about other people’s health and safety, please could you put in a caveat to say to only do it when it’s safe?”
- “My local record shop is doing a 2 for 1 deal but they are saying that Yellow Brick Road is a double album so it doesn’t qualify, please can you sort this out for me?
- “I really like your music but I can’t afford £12 for the cd so can you send me one for free please?”
- “My CD player won’t play your CD, kindly sort this out for me”.
- “I love how you play. Elton, will you give me piano lessons?”
If I was hiring Elton for a gig I’d treat him with a lot more respect than any of the above. I’ll give him lots of notice and I’ll give him total freedom to do his thing. I’m hiring him because I know he’s good, and I like his way of doing things, I like his material and his performance style. I’ve already made a decision that I like his message, so I would leave him to deliver his message in his usual way, and I would trust his judgement on the night to make it great for the audience.
I expect all the trainers out there will recognise probably every single one of the above! The live performance comments are about live training sessions, and the album/CD comments are about online video courses.
So if you’re hiring a trainer please could you imagine what it’s like to have these things to deal with on top of the job of writing and delivering useful material, and ask yourself whether you would do any of the above if it was Elton?!
By the way I’m not comparing myself to Elton musically! How I wish I had 1% of his songwriting ability or 1% of his piano playing ability. He is a God, he’ll be famous for ever for just two or three of his songs, let alone his incredible entire repertoire. – my personal favourites being Mellow, Amoreena, Where to now St Peter, Talking old soldiers, Blessed, Tell me when the whistle blows, The Club At The End Of The Street, and my personal anthem “I‘m still standing“.
